Ask a Consultant- Hard to Handle
Today's topic: SO MANY BRIDESMAIDS! :) A few days ago, we received an email from Morgan in Kennesaw, GA. We could tell by the tone of her email she was stressed. After talking with her a bit, we were able to get handle on things. But it got us thinking, how may brides out there are going through the same struggle? So, today we want to highlight her question and (hopefully) reach some of you who may be having similar issues.
"Hey ladies. I am freaking out. I have twelve (yes, I said 12) bridesmaids. I am seriously about to elope because I can't seem to (a) find a dress that I think will look good on all of them, (b) find a dress they all agree on, and (c) get them to compromise. I don't want to upset any of them. I want them all to look amazing. I don't know how to get them to listen to what I want and stop focusing on everything else. Any ideas? Please help!"
So, after we managed to convince Morgan not to elope, we tried to give her some help wrangling in these girls. Here are a few tips we know helped Morgan that we hope can help you.
- Find a consultant you like and trust.
- We can be a buffer between your 'maids and you. Think of it this way: If you told your best friend, "I just want you to wear this one, and I don't care if you don't like it," you would be a "brideszilla". BUT if your consultant said to her, "I think this dress embodies everything the bride wants, and I'm sure you want to do what she wants for her big day, just as you would want that in return." Suddenly, the tension is off you and resting with your consultant.
- We don't mind playing this role. We want your wedding to be everything you ever dreamed of.
- Stop saying "Oh, I like that one, too" to every dress THEY like.
- If you want to make any head-way, you've got to put your foot down somewhere. If you like it, say you like it. If you don't like it, stop pretending to just to be a people pleaser.
- Don't keep taking the whole group shopping every time you go.
- If you have concerns about a few of the girls (busty, hippy, less busty, etc) bring those girls to the appointment and let the others be surprised.
- Pick a dress on your own/with the expertise of your consultant.
- This one can be hard for the people pleasing brides. It can take a lot of cojones to stand up to the mob, but the pay-off is worth it.
We know these tips sound "harsh." Most brides feel "bad" asking their 'maids to just go with it. You really have to keep in mind though, these girls are your friends. They want what's best for you AND them. And sometimes they just get caught up in wanting to look the best they can. Sometimes they lose sight of the big picture. That doesn't make them bad friends, nor does it make you a "bridezilla" for asking them to wear what you've picked.
Always know you can contact your consultant if you have a rough day, or need advice. We are always here for you!
Thank you so much, Morgan, for sharing your concerns with us. And thanks for giving us the go-ahead to write about it! :) Love ya!